When I find that I'm in a funk I feel that it helps to look back on the past year and see all that we have accomplished, all that we have been through, all that we have suffered, and that we have SURVIVED! I try and look back and think what have we learned. What knowledge can we take with us to help with our next obstacle? Or, what can I use to help other families when I eventually start up my career again. It's funny, I look back and remember verbatim so many things that the doctors, nurses and therapists said to us while we were still in the hospital with Sam. For the most part, I have to say, I was and still am very impressed with the carefully thought out words that were used to explain to us that basically we were/ are in deep shit. But I remember when I was first going into labor the senior resident that was checking me out while I was in triage said, "You do know there is a good chance that something is going to be wrong with your baby?" At that time I did know that but no one was sure. But who says something like that to a women in labor. I felt like saying, "And what would you like me to do about that now jackass." It should be a requirment to have some course on bedside manner while these doctors are in medical school. What some medical professionals do not realize is that there words can impact an outcome just as much as there treatment. When I was working, families had told me stories where doctors and therapists basically said that there was no hope for their children. And many times this resulted in a kind of give up attitude on the parents part. Luckily in our case no one ever said NEVER. Even now when I ask Sam's specialists will he ever get off of his feeding tube. They look at me like I have three heads and say of course there's a great chance of that happening but it will take hard work. It is so grueling to wake up at 6am and begin the day doing therapy and only therapy with your child. Sometimes you just want to be the parent and have fun with your kid, but when professionals are telling you that all of this therapy is going to give Sam the best shot that he has in life, how can you do anything else. I know I need a lot of encouragment to do what I do everyday. It absolutely helps to have all of Sam's healthcare providers believe that he is going to do great things. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if they said he was doomed, I wold never give up on my child. But it certainly gives me an extra pop knowing that I am not the only one who believes in him.