Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Words Speak Louder Then Actions

When I find that I'm in a funk I feel that it helps to look back on the past year and see all that we have accomplished, all that we have been through, all that we have suffered, and that we have SURVIVED! I try and look back and think what have we learned. What knowledge can we take with us to help with our next obstacle? Or, what can I use to help other families when I eventually start up my career again. It's funny, I look back and remember verbatim so many things that the doctors, nurses and therapists said to us while we were still in the hospital with Sam. For the most part, I have to say, I was and still am very impressed with the carefully thought out words that were used to explain to us that basically we were/ are in deep shit. But I remember when I was first going into labor the senior resident that was checking me out while I was in triage said, "You do know there is a good chance that something is going to be wrong with your baby?" At that time I did know that but no one was sure. But who says something like that to a women in labor. I felt like saying, "And what would you like me to do about that now jackass." It should be a requirment to have some course on bedside manner while these doctors are in medical school. What some medical professionals do not realize is that there words can impact an outcome just as much as there treatment. When I was working, families had told me stories where doctors and therapists basically said that there was no hope for their children. And many times this resulted in a kind of give up attitude on the parents part. Luckily in our case no one ever said NEVER. Even now when I ask Sam's specialists will he ever get off of his feeding tube. They look at me like I have three heads and say of course there's a great chance of that happening but it will take hard work. It is so grueling to wake up at 6am and begin the day doing therapy and only therapy with your child. Sometimes you just want to be the parent and have fun with your kid, but when professionals are telling you that all of this therapy is going to give Sam the best shot that he has in life, how can you do anything else. I know I need a lot of encouragment to do what I do everyday. It absolutely helps to have all of Sam's healthcare providers believe that he is going to do great things. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if they said he was doomed, I wold never give up on my child. But it certainly gives me an extra pop knowing that I am not the only one who believes in him.


jch said...

Ira spent his days in a teaching hospital. I remember that one day a doctor said something devastating to Laura concerning Ira. It was totally inappropriate. I marched over to that doctor and in front of her students gave her a good tongue lashing. (I even said a curse word or two which is a big deal for this preacher-man.) The doctor turned all shades of red and promptly apologized. Her students were shocked as well.

All that to say, yes, there should be a course in bedside manner.

Keep up the hard work, Carrie.

Mimi and Poppy said...

Mimi and Poppy said... We will always believe in him as well.

Nicole said...

Carrie, You are such an amazing person. Sam is so lucky!

Nicole said...

Carrie- This is such a great idea and I am so proud of you for doing it. I know it takes a lot of courage to put it all out there. You truly are an amazing woman and mother. I am fortunate to see Sam often and I adore him sooooooo much!!! He is making strides thanks to your's and Scott's hard work and dedication. I am always here as whatever it is you need me for- a sister, a friend, a babysitter, a fellow mom, and even your punching bag (well maybe Scott can handle that one;-)). I love you all and I also want to thank you for being so amazing to me and to Riley. You see for yourself how she loves all of you and I am so glad we live nearby so she and Sam can grow up to be the best of friends. Thanks for being special and most of all thanks for being YOU!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

I am one of Sam's very fortunate therapists. A family comes around like this only once in a therapist's lifetime. It is so exciting to be part of this amazing package. Sam takes after his mother, father, loving grandparents , and all the others. He is so tolerant and is doing more things every day. The follow through every day on all avenue's on everyone's part is just unimaginable. This is going to happen and I am going to be there. That is exciting. Considering all the avenue's, all the approaches coordinated and implemented and integrated is what is making it happen. Genie Rogers MA CCC-SLP. BRS-S