Thursday, November 29, 2007

I'm better than that...

Its interesting the twists and turns that life brings before us, all of us. I find myself often questioning my purpose and the purpose of others. Is life really just a compilation of lessons that we must learn from one an other and from ourselves. Is our goal here on earth to be good to others regardless of how you are treated? Is the goal to be tolerant? Is the name of the game forgiveness? Obviously no one can answer these questions but I find that when I speculate on the above it helps to bring me to a greater place within myself or does it...

Today I got a huge bitch slap right in the face. I can't elaborate on the specifics due to legal reasons but try and follow the best you can. So someone who I trusted and who I did beautiful and over the top generous things for decided to take tremendous advantage of my kindness and is really putting my entire family under a lot of stress. Knowing the heartache and burdens that I have to live with on a daily basis this person is still doing a very terrible thing to my family. How this person can live with themselves is beyond me. In my eyes it is the equivalent of drowning poor innocent puppies. Only a monster would behave like this and think of only themselves. Only a really god awful poor excuse for a human being would kick a person while they are down like this. My first reaction was certainly to call, harass, yell, scream, cry, etc... But now as I think more and more about the situation I know I am a better human being. I took a deep breath and I prayed for this person. I feel sorry for this person.

Half of me wants to never be kind again, never trust again, never be generous again. But I know that whether I am kind or not, generous or not, trusting or not, there will always be someone out there looking to take advantage or hurt or abuse. So I want to do my part for the good of humanity and not be spoiled by the sourness of this situation. I will hold my head high and continue to be kind, to be generous, to be trusting, etc... I know who I want to see when I look in the mirror everyday and I think I do a damn good job of working hard to be that person. I am not saying I am anything close to perfect but I do have integrity and I do have a heart.

With the upcoming New Year and all of our new New Year resolutions could we all maybe try to be better people (whatever that means) with the hope that it will spread on to others and we can all have a better year to come...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

that really sucks. What a jerk and I wish i caould curse them out, b/c I wouldn't mind. But you know, what goes around comes around and THAT is true. They're making their bed. Love your blogs Carrie, you and the others are such therapy for me.
Vanessa

Anonymous said...

Wahoo baby I can't even imagine
what did that bad person do to you but I bet that you choose the right way to react.. and I am sure
that you'll get stronger from this terrible experience. I think that you're one of a kind and god will return you for what you are.
Love you all
Irit IL
p/s: you didn't replay to my former suggestion.....

Anonymous said...

we grow everyday. Hopefully in the right direction.
Thank you for leading the way.
mom

Nicole said...

I think that person is disgusting and I hope bad things happen to them. You are right for taking the high road but I am not that good of a person. While you are praying for them, I am praying that bad things happen to them. It is deserved. The good news is that when people don't sleep at night, they dream during the day. I imagine her day dreams will be her own hell.
Nicole S.